Positive Discipline

Birch Nannies is excited to partner with Sproutable to help bring their
Positive Discipline courses
to our families and nannies.
Sproutable was founded by
two Seattle moms and we love their mission!

Who is Sproutable?

Sproutable supports parents and caregivers with expert answers, solutions to behavior challenges, inspiration, and energy. They offer tools from the latest social neuroscience and Dr. Jane Nelsen’s Positive Discipline based on Adlerian Psychology. The founders, Julietta and Alanna, are early childhood experts, parents and former nannies with over 15 years of experience supporting families and teaching classes to nannies, parents and preschool teachers. 

This week’s blog is written by Danielle, a Seattle nanny and Positive Discipline parent educator.

Positive Discipline Tip: Time-In
When you make a mistake at work, what would be more helpful? Being berated and sent to independently reflect on your mistake, or working with your boss to find a common solution for next time? The latter, right? Well, kiddos are the exact same way!

I'm so relieved that spanking and corporal punishment seem to be a thing of the past in most households. The AAP recommends that caregivers never verbally shame, spank, or use other corporal punishments with children. This is a great step forward; however, I know many families, parents, caregivers, and nannies who still rely on time-out. I know this might sound a bit crunchy, but I'd encourage you to consider a Positive Discipline tool called time-in the next time you're ready to send a kiddo to time-out.

So, what is time-in? Also known as a positive time-out space, time-in has a similar goal, but meets that goal in a healthier, more positive way that builds your relationship and connection with the child. When a child is sent independently to time-out, are they really reflecting on their actions? Brainstorming what to do differently next time? I don't think so! I think they're scared, alone, and feeling dejected. You might get the cooperation you're looking for in the moment, but long-term, what problems are being solved here? This is what I love about time-in! Instead of sending them away, invite the child to join you in a calm, quiet spot (this can be a dedicated area or an impromptu sit on the couch or even in the car), and first work on regulating together. No learning or reasoning will happen when the adult or child is upset, so focus on calming everyone down first. Some calming tools to offer are yoga, breathing exercises, quiet music, dim lighting, books about feelings, Hoberman spheres, or glitter bottles. Once everyone is calm, you can have a more effective conversation about what happened. Be honest and validate feelings while you share your view of the event without adding blame or shame. Then, work together with the child to brainstorm possible solutions or strategies they can use next time they're in a similar situation. Pick something to try next time, and then move on with your day.

Reflect on your goal next time you're thinking of using time-out, and consider trying a time-in instead. If this tool resonates with you and you'd like to learn more about Positive Discipline strategies, check out the Positive Discipline Association or the nanny-specific Positive Discipline certification offered through Sproutable.

Bio: Danielle is a certified Positive Discipline parent educator and works full-time as a nanny in Seattle, WA. She has over fifteen years of experience working with children and enjoys spending time with her husband and cats.

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Birch Nannies is a Sproutable affiliate and will receive a percentage of any course purchased through our affiliate link.